There are many Kids who are natural comedians so why not give them encouragement to get funny and punny with these kid-approved Hilarious Dad Jokes for kids in 2020 which requires no explanation at all from parents. Just prepare your mind as this comedy sketch might go beyond today!
Kids might love birthday parties, new toys, and making a mess to things, to name but few — but we believe jokes vital and are at the top of most kids’ wishlists! Every child enjoys humour and loves learning new funny Kids jokes and trying them out on their family and friends, and every parent loves having very happy kids and would go at any length to get this Jokes for kids in 2020.
Kids are natural comedians and they can also be the most enthusiastic audience you can get. So whether you want to try these jokes out on your kid yourself here’s everything you’ll need: over 140 parent-approved, kid-tested jokes for kids with guaranteed laughs.
Scroll down to read out the silliest and corniest Dad Jokes for kids in 2020;
- Two brothers argue, one says:
– Pig’s head!
“Ho! What a donkey!
– You turkey!
Their mother comes in and says:
– Ho… Shut your mouth!
- A mother goes out with her young son and meets on the way one of her very pretty friends.
– Mark, commands the mother, kisses the lady.
– No mom
– Finally Mark, obey it’s an order!
– I said no mommy!
– But don’t make your head wrong! Why don’t you want to kiss the lady?
– Because Dad tried yesterday and he got a pair of slaps!
- A thief breaks into a house. He takes television, jewelry, money… When he is about to leave, a childish voice asks him:
-Sir, couldn’t you take my school report card too?
- A lemon mom says to her children:
“To live long, you must never be in a hurry!”
- A mom calls her daughter – Can you help me change your brother?
– Why, it’s already worn out?
- Peter’s aunt said to him:
” Aren’t you too sad that I’m leaving tomorrow?”
– Oh yes, auntie, I would have preferred you to leave today!
- Two moms chat:
” Me, my baby, he’s been walking for three months.
“Well, that’s it! He must be far away by now.
- A child asks his mother: “Mom what’s in your belly?” The mother replies, “Your brother, my son. ” The son replies, “But why did you eat it?”
- A little girl climbs a mountain with her father:
“Dad, can I tell you something?”
– When we’re upstairs.
Ten minutes later:
“Can I tell you now?”
– Just now.
An hour later, the father turns to his daughter:
“Here we are, what did you want to tell me?”
– I forgot my bag downstairs…
- – P’paaaa? Could you write in the dark??
” Yes, of course.
– Could you also sign on my booklet?
- A little girl asks her father:
– What happens when you are dead?
“You become dust,” the father replies.
– Then I think I have a dead man under the bed!
- A man enters a restaurant: – Boy, do you serve noodles here?
– Of course, sir, here we serve everyone!
- Two moms chat outside the school:
– Your son plays the piano, your daughter plays the trombone, your wife learns to sing. How about you?
– I am learning to bear the noise.
- The teacher asks the students:
– In the following sentence: The patient died as a result of his affection, where is the subject?
– At the cemetery, madam!
- A little girl walks into a pastry shop and says, speaking strangely:
– Hello, madam I come to buy a birthday cake for my little sister
“Oh yes?” And how old is she, the pastry maker asked?
– 4 years
– What’s her name?
– It’s very pretty. And how did your parents choose it, that first name?
– Well when my sister was born a little feather fell on her.
– Ah! And you what your name is?
- This is the story of two potatoes crossing a road. One of them gets run over and the other yells: Oh mash!
- The customer asks the server, by looking at the card:
- -Boy, what do you recommend to me with confidence?
– Another restaurant!
- One day, Pierre’s mom made beef steak. She said to him:
– So Peter, if you eat your steak, you will become as strong as an ox.
– You’ve already done the fish to me and I still can’t swim!
- Why don’t the cows talk?
Because on the barn, it says: The Farm!
- How do I store chocolate buns in a bakery?
In order of croissants (decreasing)
- A child asks his mother:
– Mom, Mommy, my eye is sore, you have to take me to the zieutiste!
– But my little darling, it’s not the zieutist, it’s the oculist!
– But Mommy, that’s not where I hurt…
- David’s dad asks him what he asked Santa. And David replies:
– I asked him to come more often…
- – What color is the head of a black baby?
– Black of course!
– What color are the hands of a black baby?
– Black says naturally
– What about the feet of a black baby?
– Ben black it makes sense …
– And his teeth, what color are they?
– Lost, a baby has no teeth!
- “Peter, where is your brother?”
– I put it in the fridge.
– But you’re crazy, he’ll catch cold!
“Don’t worry, I closed the door.
- Why don’t elephants have a computer?
Answer: Because they are afraid of mice.
- A little boy asks his father:
– Dad what is a hexagon?
– Uh…. I don’t know my son
– Dad, what is the capital of Australia?
– Uh…. I don’t know my son
” Dad, where did Napoleon die?”
– Uh…. I don’t know my son
– Dad, who invented the rabies vaccine?
– Uh…. I don’t know my son
At that moment, the mother said to the kid:
– Stop annoying your father!
And the father replies:
– Let him ask questions, he has to get educated!
- In a restaurant:
– Another sugar boy, please…
– But this is the 5th i bring you!
– It’s not my fault they all melt!
- Why don’t mice like to play riddles? Because they are afraid to give their tongue to the cat.
- A little girl to her mother:
– Mom, what happens to cars when they’re too old and too rusty to drive?
– Well, there’s always someone who can sell them to your father!
- – Oh Dad, look at the pretty boat!
– It’s not a boat, it’s a yacht says the father.
– How is yacht written?
“You’re right,” said the father. It’s a boat.
- What is the female condor’s name?
It’s the bed because that’s where you sleep!
- One little boy asks another:
– What would you like to do later?
– I dream of earning 10,000 euros a month… Like my dad!!
– Does your father earn 10,000 euros a month?
– No, but he dreams of it too!
- Collected a large selection of a lot of very funny and funny jokes for children, school and about children. While we picked up these anecdotes and read them, we were very funny to tears.
- Anecdote is a small, funny story from life. We also recommend to read our last issue of funny anecdotes anecdotes for children – the newest and funniest anecdotes about The Girl (11 pieces), it turned out to be very funny and funny (as each anecdote was selected by hand).
- Anecdotes for children 5-6 years old funny
- A boy on a walk with his father in the park saw two twins in a stroller. He looked at them for a long time with a clever expression, and eventually asked the pope:
“Daddy, where’s my other one?”
- On the street Sasha got into a fight with his comrade. Dad started an educational conversation with him:
“Sasha, tell me, are you fighting all the time?
“Yes! The boy replied.
“And even in kindergarten!
“Yes! Sasha said.
“And who wins?
“Our teacher always wins. The toddler said sadly.
- My son was treated to an apple. He takes silently and looks at me. I am:
What should I say?
“Did you wash it?”
- “I’m going to be a fairy,” my granddaughter told me. “I learn all kinds of tricks. For example, the candy in my mouth disappears…
- Funny anecdotes for children 6-8 years old
- “Rather, you’ll be late for school!
“Don’t worry, Mum, the school is open all day.
- Today my son (6 years old) came up and said:
“Life doesn’t make sense.
“The teeth have fallen out. . . . Who needs me now?
- We check the hearing at the doctor’s clinic. The doctor whispers:
Seva (7 years old), also whispering:
“I can’t be allergic. . . .
- “Mom, give me twenty roubles, I’ll give it to that poor grandfather!
“You’re my smart girl! Where’s Grandpa?
“And over there, he sells ice cream!
- Mom says to her young son:
“Why don’t you eat, you said you were hungry like a wolf?
“Mom, where did you see wolves eating carrots?”
- “Why do you write so smallly?” the teacher asks Vovochka.
“Marya Ivanovna, so that the mistakes are hard to see!
- “Which river is longer: Mississippi or Volga? The teacher asks Vovka.
“Of course Mississippi!
“And do you know how much?
“For as many as four letters!
- Cheburashka comes to the cinema:
How much does a movie ticket cost?
I only have five. Please let me watch with one eye…..
- “Even the walls, and they have ears.
- The crocodile Gene was comforting Cheburashka.
- Cheburashka and Kolobok quarreled, they wanted to fight.
“Chur, don’t hit your ears!
“And on the head too!
- Cheburashka is sitting. The wolf is coming.
“Cheburashka, how long?
“He’s the path that leads to grandma.”
- “Well done son, that stopped crying!
“I haven’t stopped, I’m resting!
- On the second of September, the beginning of the first lesson, the teacher says:
“Children, do you have any more questions?”
“And when is the holidays?”
- “It’s my candy, give it to me!
“Masha, where is mine then?”
“I ate it!
- The teacher told the students about the great inventors and asked:
“Children, what do you want to invent?”
“I would have invented such a robot – pressed the button and lessons are done!
“Petya, you’re lazy! What will Vova say?
“And I would have invented a machine that would press this button!
- “What’s your dad doing?”
How is that?
– 380 gets, 220 gives, the rest buzzes …
- Vovochka asks the teacher:
“Maria Ivanovna, can you punish a man for something he didn’t do?
“No, Vova, no way!
“Hurrah, lucky, because I didn’t do my homework!
- A biology lesson.
“Why, tell the whole class how earthworms breed?”
Divide, Antonina Petrovna.
What about more details?
- Wow, did you do your homework?
No, I don’t think so.
“Why did you go to bed then?”
“You know less, you sleep harder
- “Boy, not a bully, or your dad will grow gray hair!
“My dad will be very happy, he is completely bald!
- On a walk with her mother, Vovochka makes an unusual remark to her:
“Mommy’s got such long nails!
“Thank you, Youschka. It’s called a manicure.
“Oh, I’d like to rummage through the ground with a manicure!
- In kindergarten:
“Children, which birds don’t need nests?”
“Cuckoos,” Nikita replies.
“Because they live in hours.
- The pet cat licked the baby’s leg several times. Child:
“It’s time for Murzik to feed me, or he’s already trying me!
- After kindergarten Roma says to his father:
“And today vitya and Sasha had a fight!
“And which of the children won?
- Dad asks the kids:
Who ate the apple?
I don’t know!
Are you going to do that?
- At the zoo:
“Dad, the gorilla looked at us very evil. . . .
“Calm down, son, it’s just a cash register.
- “It was two cakes in the fridge last night, and one this morning, why?”
“Mom, there’s a light bulb in the fridge, and I didn’t notice the second one!
- The geography teacher asked Bore if he knew anything about the Panama Canal.
“No,” the pupil replies, “there is no such channel on our TV.
- A radio was held in the house of one grandmother. In the morning at six o’clock, it first spoke:
Grandma jumped out of bed:
“Good health! Where are you so early?
- “Well, son, show me the diary. What do you think you’re coming from school today?
“There’s nothing to show, there’s only one deuce.
“Don’t worry, Dad, I’ll bring it tomorrow!
- Hello, is that 333-33-33?
Yes, I do.
“Please dial an ambulance, or my finger is stuck in my phone.
- Chukchi is on the road, and he is asked:
-Chukcha, where are you going?
-Prick do, however
To the clinic?
-No to the, however
- Once bought a new Russian designer and his friend brags:
“Listen, Vovan, here you look at this stuff that says, “From 2 to 4 years old.” I collected it in two months.
- A little girl talks to her father:
“Dad, I dreamed today that you gave me a little chocolate.
“You’ll listen, you’ll dream that you’ve given me a big one.
- “Mommy, can I go for a walk?”
With dirty ears?
No, with my comrades.
- Chemistry lesson:
“Tell me, Youslovka, what substances don’t dissolve in the water?
The girl did not hesitate:
- Caught cannibals tourist. They spread a fire, put a vat of water and ask:
What’s your name?
“What does it matter to you, eat it anyway!
“What’s it like for the menu?”
- Once Cheburashka approaches Gene and says:
“Gena, Shapoklyak gave us 10 oranges on February 23, 8 each.
“How is it 8 if there are 10 of them?”
“I don’t know, but I’ve already eaten my 8!
- The little girl asks her grandfather:
“Grandfather, what are these berries?”
“Why is it red?”
Because it’s still green.
- “Piglet, do you know your pedigree?”
“Yeah. Here my grandfather (sighs) was the chop. My father was (proudly) a kebab…
“What do you dream of becoming?”
“And I (looks up into the sky and sad so…) an astronaut.
“What’s so sad about that?”
“I’m afraid I won’t fit into the tube. . . .
- My uncle came to the doctor and said:
“Doctor, I have calls in my ears.
“Don’t answer them, don’t pick up the phone!
- “Guys, what’s the number of “byuks”: single or plural?
“The only one is the one, and the bottom is the plural.
- One student decided to make fun of the other. Painted a chair.
The second comes in and right from the doorstep says:
First to him:
“You sit down first,” and he points to the chair.
And this one again:
“Kolyan, I wanted to tell you. . . .
“You sit down, don’t be shy.
The second one sat down. The first giggles:
“Kolyan, I just wanted to say that you put on your jeans.
- Grandpa sleeps in a chair, whistling his nose loudly. The little granddaughter twirls the button on his jacket.
What are you doing? Grandma asks.
“I want to catch another program!
- A plane landed at the airport. The passers-by are coming off the ramp.
One man’s pants fall off, he pulls them up and says:
-Here’s Aeroflot: then fasten the belt, then unbutton…
- “Why does a gorilla have such big nostrils?”
Because she has thick fingers.
- The five-year-old boy came to the phone.
“Yes, I do.”
Call your dad or mom.
They’re not home.
Is there anyone else?
Yes, my sister.
Call her, please.
After a while, the boy picked up the phone again:
It’s too heavy. I can’t get her out of the pram!
- The five-year-old son asks:
-Dad, do you know how much one tube of pasta is enough?
-The whole hallway, living room and half of the loggia…
- Two flies come out of the tank.
One says, “Yeah, let’s go on foot or wait for the dog?”
- Once the hedgehog fell into the pit, he can’t get out and thinks, “If I don’t get out in 5 minutes I’ll go home for the stairs.”
- -Gen, carefully here steps-stumps-stumps.
-Thank you Cherim-burum-burashka.
- Wallpaper sours, of course, the whole piece. But how to keep it
it was to wean them off to shove them into the stym-machine.
- The woman asks to pour a glass of soda water:
A glass of water.
With a syp?
No, no, no, no, no, no
“Without cherry or without apple?
- A guy and a girl walk around the city and walk past the city. The girl says:
“Oh, how delicious it smells!
“Did you feel good?” Why don’t you do it again?
- A girl walks into a dairy shop. Puts, then, a can on the scales:
“Me, sour cream.
The girl, she’s soured in a can.
“Here’s a girl, you’ve got sour cream. Where’s the
-In a can
- “Boy, how old are you?”
“And you are not above my umbrella. . . .
How old is your umbrella?
- After dinner, the mother goes to the kitchen, and her daughter shouts after her:
“No, Mama, I don’t want you to do dishes on your birthday. Leave her for tomorrow.
- The boy watches on TV a film about a boy whom everyone loved and says:
“If I’m washed, I’ll be the same!
tells her son
“Is that how my son reads a book?” You’re missing a few pages.
And this book is about spies. I want to catch them soon.
- At the rental boat station, the chief shouts at the mouthpiece:
Boat number 99! Go back to the shore – your time is up!
In five minutes:
Boat number 99, come back immediately!
In five minutes:
Boat number 99! If you don’t come back, we’ll fine you!
The assistant approaches the boss:
“Ivan Ivanovich! We only have 73 boats, where did the 99th come from?
The chief freezes for a moment, and then rushes to the shore:
Boat number 66! Are you in any trouble?!
- Gifted The Heel winnie-the-pooh
pooh for his birthday cell phone
-Here’s a guilty cell phone!
-Thank you buddy!
The next day Winnie the Pooh meets The Heel
What did you give me for my birthday yesterday???
-The phone …
-I was picking for 3 hours yesterday, the weight of the phone broke, there are no honeycombs or honey
- Mom tells the girl:
“If you don’t eat semolina, I’ll call Baba Yaga.
“Mom, do you really think she’s going to eat it?”
- “Doctor, you’ve banned me from eating for the night, so I’ve got a cold!
What’s the connection?
“Well, I stood at the fridge all night, i looked at the chicken, so I was blown away!
- Granddaughters and grandfather sit by the window… granddaughter’s babbling. Grandpa look!!! Times
crow, two crows, three crows… The whole Voronezh!!!.
- Two Chukchi are sitting, breaking a bomb. A man walks by.
“Hey, what are you doing, it’s going to explode!” – “But, nothing, we’ve got another one!”
- Georgian drowns in the sea and forgot the word “save” in Russian, shouts:
“I’m swimming with pasland once!
- Vinnie says Piglet.
“Listen, Vinnie, I know what will happen to you when you grow up!
“Did you read my horoscope?”
- Host – guest: – Light up you on the steps? – No, thank you, I’m already lying down.
- In the middle of the lesson in the class comes Voochka with a bandaged head.
Annoyed teacher: – Well, what happened this time? – Fell from the fifth floor.
“Did you fly two lessons?”
- Seller: “These wall clocks go two weeks without a factory.
“What are you doing?” What if you start them?
check out what happened to Lil Tay here.
These are Logical problem-jokes for children
We all know that the mental development of a preschool child is important for his preparation for school. Thinking is an educational process.
Children don’t think like adults. We already have a lot of ready-made knowledge. And the child will know everything for the first time. In this unfamiliar world, he is not clear, he asks a lot, he explores something himself, draws conclusions for himself. The child is all interesting and interesting. And the development of logical thinking in a child plays not a small role in preparing him for school.
Logical thinking is thinking through reasoning. It is a link between different knowledge so that in the end the answer to the question. All kinds of logical thinking are closely related to speech.
Developing logical thinking through riddles and challenges.
In education and learning, it is important to play and play games and tasks. They are interesting for children, capture them, and to find the right answer, you need to think.
Logical tasks are exercises that develop thinking, the ability to think, to catch the connection between concepts. Such tasks teach children to communicate cause and consequences, teach them to guess the result.
Let me offer you a logical task-jokes for your children. Now let’s try to answer these puzzle singling seis. They are more suitable for older preschoolers. After all, they are already good at reasoning and thinking.
Problem-puzzles on ingenuity.
- Five apples have grown on the pear, and only two on the tree.
- How many apples have grown? (The answer is: none, on these trees apples do not grow.)
- What happens to the white handkerchief if it is lowered into the Black Sea? (It’s going to get wet.)
- How many nuts are there in an empty glass? (Not at all.
- In February, three daisies and two roses bloomed in our yard.
- How many flowers were there in the yard? (Not at all. in February flowers do not grow.)
- There are three daisies and two tulips in the vase.
- How many daisies are in the vase? (Three daisies).
- What dishes can’t be anything to eat from? (From empty.)
- Andrei put three piles of sand together, and then poured another one there.
- How many sands have it become? (One big bunch.)
- My grandmother tied her grandchildren with scarves and mittens for the winter. In total, she tied three scarves and six mittens. How many grandchildren does Grandma have?
- (Three grandchildren)
- The children sculpted a snowman. After that, six mittens dried on the battery. How many kids sculpted a snowman? (three)
- Seven ducks swam in the pond. Three of them dived. How many ducks are left in the pond? (Seven. Four swim and three underwater.)
- You can see eight dog’s paws from under the gate. How many dogs are behind the gate?
- Two dogs.)
- What’s heavier than a kilogram of cotton wool or a kilogram of stones?
- The weight is the same.)
- Mom cut the chocolate bar into three pieces.
- How many incisions did she make? (Two incisions.)
- How do I get water in the lattice? (Freezing it.)
- It’s a long-awaited January. First, one apple tree bloomed, and then three more plums.
- How many trees bloomed? (In winter, the trees do not bloom)
- Nine steamers sailed in the sea. Two steamers docked at the wharf.
- How many steamers are at sea? (nine steamers)
- The animal has two right legs and two left legs, two front and two rear legs.
- How many legs does an animal have? (Four)
- Why did the hedgehogs laugh?
- There are two goats at the groove
- They sell hedgehog pins.
- And hedgehogs laugh!
- Everyone can’t stop…
- ( .. Oh, you stupid goats,
- We don’t need pins,
- We’re pinned ourselves.)
These are such interesting tasks on logical thinking. When you ask the children, let them think well, do not rush them. And if they answer, let them say why they answered it, and not otherwise.
And do not forget to praise the child, because he still tried and thought very hard.